News from the Neighborhood

Fire Alarm
This morning I was startled by a piercing sound, the apartment complex’s fire alarm. When I stepped out the front door to see if there was indeed a fire (there wasn’t), I spotted TB running from her apartment. In her hands there were two things: her cat carrier (yes, she has a cat even though she is a smoking asthmatic) and a carton of cigarettes. When you have less than 30 seconds to grab everything you hold dear in life, you grab a cat and smokes. I love those priorities.

MH Momma Gets a Job
I overheard Meth-head Momma speaking with a woman who I think might have been her mother (same frosty blonde hair and unfortunate complexion) about her career prospects. When she told her mother the career she had chosen, I honestly snorted and had to pretend it was a cough. The recovering meth addict who is missing most of her teeth is considering dental hygienist school.

A New Character: Scary Dude
There has been a new character lurking around the corridors of our fabulous apartment building. We will just call him Scary Dude because, well, frankly he scares me. I am not sure exactly which unit he lives in, but he likes to visit TB.

A few weeks ago I passed Scary Dude on the steps and offered the polite “hi, how are you” greeting. He responded with “not so good, I’m trying to sell my movies,” and he held up his hand which was holding three VHS tapes. He looked at me with a mixture of hope and schizophrenia. Not wanting to know what kind of movies he had or what he would do when I said I wasn’t interested, I quickly smiled, took the steps two-by-two, and yelled “good luck with that!”

Days later, I got home and spotted Scary Dude sitting with TB outside her apartment (she has a little smoking bistro set up). He was dressed in a light orange three-piece suit circa 1977. As I rounded the corner and spotted the pair, TB was getting up and trying to unlock her door (yes, in this building, you lock your door, even if you are sitting right outside of it). There was a sense of annoyance and fear in her mannerisms. Scary Dude stood up, took a step toward her and said “well, I just want you to know that I care about you.” She opened the door, mumbled something, ran inside, and threw the deadbolt. I quickly decided that I wasn’t going to stick around to find out what the hell was going on and followed her lead.