The Neighbors

Let’s meet my fabulous NW neighbors, shall we?
TB (a.k.a. Doc Holiday)
TB or Doc as my husbands calls her, moved in next to us and was given her nickname almost immediately upon arrival. She’s a smoker, obviously, and chooses to smoke outside her door. Being an ex-smoker, I totally understand not wanting to smoke inside and stank up your apartment and everything in it. So far, so good, right? WRONG! Apparently TB suffers from asthma and tends to cough when she smokes. But this isn’t a normal “smoker’s cough.” This cough is the loudest, juiciest, chunkiest and most penetrating noise I have ever heard. Even with our door locked, windows shut, and the TV on that cough makes it into our apartment. It is unbelievable, truly it is. About a month ago, TB went missing or what I thought was missing, but come to find out she was admitted to the hospital because she was having difficulty breathing. Shocker, I know.

Mr. Philosopher (a.k.a. Mr. P)
Mr. Philosopher lives two doors down and is a co-smoker with TB. So he stands out in front of our door and shouts a conversation over the coughing. Needless to say, we hear a lot of what he has to say. And his conversations are annoying as fuck. Apparently the philosopher has spent some time in rehab (Many of my neighbors have been to rehab, come to find out. Can you say halfway house? My hubby can find some classy places!). During his stint in rehab, Mr. P learned a lot about human nature and the nature of addiction. Therefore he feels the need to share this information, at length, with anyone who is unfortunate enough to listen.

Meth-head Momma (a.k.a. MH Momma)
MH Momma lives with Mr. P. and just recently had his baby. My husband and I first met her while she was standing outside, smoking. Yes, she was pregnant and smoking. MH Momma gets her nickname due to the condition of her teeth (or lack thereof) and her complexion. We recently found out the name of her baby boy: Junior.

Of course we have many more neighbors...you may meet them later.